It's been a while...

It's been a while since I have been here. So much craziness and drama going on. My big news..The Lost One got married...without telling me. Now he is not speaking to me because he doesn't want to hear what I have to say. I am ok with this but he will eventually have to listen to me. This girl he married has a baby...well 19 month old. So that makes me a grandmother or Avia, which is Latin for grandmother. I would be lying if I said I was excited, especially since I am actively trying to have a baby. We finally got The Enforcer tested and...WE HAVE SWIMMERS!! I'm jumping...I really am!!

Homeschool is going so much better than before. We are making such progress with the Preteens writing. When he started this year he was probably a 2nd grade level..now he is about a late 3rd, early 4th. My other good news on that front is that we are bringing home the Quiet One next year. I have been having problems with his school. He is doing great but I have felt like an outcast for awhile now and it has really been apparent here lately. He is pretty observant and I don't want his feelings to be hurt. So next year he will be learning Latin along with the Preteen.

Isn't it amazing how something little can make a big difference? I bought some posters at the dollar store that have letters and numbers on them. Up until this point Gravy girl has not wanted to do math. But now that they are on the wall she is all about math!! Now if I could just get her to remember the number before 10.

This next paragraph has nothing to do with my family. I have observed in that last week two instances of people commiting crimes and then posting about it on youtube. What is wrong with people? Where is their brain? Why would you do that? Just so you know, the police know how to access youtube too.

That is all I have to say tonight. Well, I am missing my friend who is in Montana ice fishing without me but I know she is having a great time.

It's been a while...

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!!

I am very close to being done with Christmas shopping this year. Play doh and candy...Play doh and candy...if I keep saying them to myself perhaps I will remember to buy them!! I always get excited this time of year, not just because of the gifts that I buy for my crew but because the new year is coming. That means a fresh start...endless possibilities...and putting away the sadness and crap from this year.

This year was one of my favorites for the Enforcer and I. The year before was the hardest of our marriage but we survived and are stronger for it. This year was filled with maybes and what-ifs and could we or should we's.

This year brought people into our lives like my biological father and his new wife. It also strengthened relationships we had with people. Somehow I have friends, actually FRIENDS. People that want to talk to me and who listen to me without judging. They are just as crazy as I am but that makes it even better.

I have also lost people...not to death but to situations. I am deeply saddened that my family seems to be falling apart and taking sides. It's funny how siblings can and will turn on you in an instant over things and drama. And how sad is it if you are not on the "right" side you are outcast and overlooked.

In this season, especially, families should put aside their differences and come together. We have but a short time on this planet why waste it on jealousy and drama? Why not let go, look past the stupidity and spite and just love each other?

In today's society I think the one thing missing is wonder. Gravy is at the age where everything is new and she can remember and verbalize it. It makes everything right in the world when I see her expressions at listening to "Polar Express" being read by her favorite librarian or seeing Nana's house lit up by probably close to a million lights. Her eyes get big and she inhales a vast amount of air and just says, "Mama, I neber seen that before! It is beautiful and I love it!!" This is why I love Christmas most of all.

So my new year wishes...what could they be? I want to...no I WILL quit smoking. I will go to the gym at least once a week...and use my step at least once too. I will be nicer and not so quick to jump to conclusions. I will be less selfish and more giving, especially to my husband. But most of all I will cherish my children for life is far to short to do otherwise.

So Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone. May your holiday season be filled with love, peace and joy.

Before I forget.....

My crew says the craziest things and this is just a sample....


Preteen, Quiet One and I were sitting discussing Advent, which led to Hanukkah which, in my house, led to whether or not we were Jewish. And then that street led to a discussion about virgins...Jeff Dunham (sp) has something to do with this.

Quiet One was naming people and asking if they were virgins...then he got to me....Preteen says, "Of course not!! You wouldn't be here if she was!!"

At this point I just want to climb into a hole...This is not one of the joys of parenting!!


Gravy had the pleasure of watching my MIL and the Enforcer build a manger in MIL's front yard. Now, Gravy is calling it her farmhouse and all the people are her children!!

Holidays...not for the faint at heart!!

I LOVE the holidays. I really do...just ask my husband...LOL! This is not to say that certain aspects of the holidays don't drive me crazy, because there are things that make me want to start drinking.

Thanksgiving was held at my house this year and it was okay. But it reminds me that people in general do not do things like The Enforcer and I do. Normally this would not bother me but I'm to a point in my life where if I feel it will not do any good, then I will not say anything to certain people...but I will blog about it.

I don't have toddlers anymore and truthfully when I did I never baby proofed my house, I just watched my child...imagine that! I also cleaned up after my child when they made a mess, heck, I still do or they clean up after themselves. Since when did it become acceptable to just let our littles run amok in someones house without consideration for the hosts? Could I say something to the child's parents? Sure, but it won't do any good because I am downing them. Whatever, I'm over it but I'm not hosting another family gathering for a long time.

But on to happier things....

I love to shop Black Friday!! As I found out this year, some people are not as well prepared as I am. I had a list itemized by store and by need. I also had 5 windows up on my computer and kept refreshing the pages until my item went on sale. Is this crazy?? Absolutely!! But with as many children as I have, it's what I have to do to stretch my money.

Here is my funny Black Friday story...

Saturday, the Enforcer says to me, "Just how many times did you shop at Walmart yesterday???

My reply, "How many times does our account say I did?"

I'm busted because the answer is 3!! But I did get the bulk of my Christmas done. Just a few more things to buy including one big gift for one of my boys.

This year I want to start a few new traditions to try to make the holidays more meaningful. We already celebrate St. Nicholas day. This year I'm going to hopefully include an Advent wreath and a paper chain to count the days with a be nice goal on each link. I am also going to try to remember to bake a cake for Jesus so we can celebrate His birth.

So Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!!

One thing leads to another...

Isn't it funny how some seemingly small thing can change your life, can lead you to bigger and better things? Today I am celebrating my Gravy's 4th birthday. This is a common thing, to have birthdays, but out of all of my children she was the one that changed my life.

First the small things, she loves shoes. I own 3 pair, flip flops, tennis shoes and what I like to call my funeral shoes. My daughter owns about 8 or 9 pair...and really wants more!! She is a perfect conbo of the Enforcer and I, girly yet strong, she is great. I'm trying so hard to raise her to be an assertive woman but also to know that helping others is important. She can be anything she wants to be including mom or scientist or ballet dancer.

I really think that when a woman has a daughter she is reminded of her own relationship with her mother and in my case is determined not to have the same kind of relationship. I want so much for my daughter, not things but gifts of the Spirit. I want her to love the Lord, to be sure of herself and not afraid to speak her mind. I want her to know that she herself is a gift and that no one should treat her badly. I try so hard to shelter her and her being from the harmful things that our society is full of. I see so many girls today just being playthings for men that treat them badly or worse, violently. This saddens me to no end.

Everything I do in my life is for my children. This is not said to make me sound like a martyr, but to simply explain how seriously I take being a mom. So many people today misjudge the impact that a mother has on her children. And some of today's mothers just can't see through their own selfishness to see how thier own behavior is affecting their children. I once had someone tell me that having a kid wasn't rocket science so why not have another baby.... I really think this person is dumb. Parenthood is harder than anything else on the planet you could ever do, it's also more demanding and more rewarding. All that being said, I love it more than anything.

I used to go with the flow, if my doctor or my family said this is what I should do then I did it. That is SO not the case anymore. I find myself questioning everything now. No longer am I a mainstream parent or a sheep following everybody else. I am so anti mainstream. I have Google and I know how to use it!!!

We don't vaccinate anymore. This one decision has caused more problems then any other. I have gotten dirty looks and some people have been downright rude to me about it. I can't explain how much stronger this makes my resolve to not vax. I would also like to point out that the Enforcer does NOT agree with me, but I'm in charge of healthcare in our house so I win!! I don't vaccinate not because of Autism, though I understand how that makes other parents feel. I don't do it because of what is in the vaccines themselves. Most vaccines are grown in fetal cells and I just can't put dead babies in my children. This makes me the bad guy, and I have lost a friend over it. But people if you trust you vaccines and feel the government should force me to vaccinate my children then what are you worried about if your children are fully vaccinated? And if you are trying to tell me that they are not 100% effective then why are you putting that into your children?

I have so much more to write but the school day is about to start... Just remember, don't be a sheep and sometimes when a door opens, crazy people come into your life and it is GOOD!!

Blessings...blessing...everywhere

I've been so busy...but of course you know that. So much has happened since I last posted and I will be speaking (typing) about that but really it all boils down to being blessed. Not the usual "God bless you" that you hear all the time when you sneeze, but the honest to goodness God is working in your life kind of blessed.



To me being blessed goes hand in hand with the old saying "ask and ye shall receive". In other words pray (ask) and God will bless you. Many days I find myself wondering what I will do next or how will I solve a problem? I find myself asking God to help me...show me the way...or give me a sign. I always have absolute faith that His will be done...I might not like it but that's life.



Recently, I have begun homeschooling. I started without textbooks knowing that the right stuff would find it's way to me. What did I get the first day of school? An email from the homeschool I'm using telling me about free textbooks from our local college. I was so excited and got everything I needed.



Homeschooling is lonely for the preteen as well as for me. I don't know anyone around here that does it and some people think I'm crazy for doing it. But again God knows what I need. The librarian here is very welcoming to all of us when we come in during the day. And she is so helpful when we need help finding books. And now my online community is answering a need by hopefully being a mentor and sounding board for me. Because of all this I know we will find a good source for quality people for the Preteen to "hang" with.



Now I know it sounds so sickly sweet and this post may have you thinking that I always go to God. This is not true. I suffer with the sin of impatience. There are days when I think...your will Lord but my time table!! It never works but I almost can't help myself.



It has been almost two months since the Enforcer had his surgery. Two months of trying to bring another life into this world and nothing. I want to scream at God...Yoo hoo here I am ready and waiting for a baby!! But this would be wrong for so many reasons. The Lord knows what I want and He also knows the right time for it, plus I think He's trying to teach me a virtue here...patience. So I will wait and try not to get excited about the idea of sewing tiny diapers and clothes. Now if He could just bless me with smaller thighs....